ANOTHER ANNIVERSARY POEM

 

ANOTHER ANNIVERSARY POEM


Writing in the pew, after worship,

Bell Choir practicing, each pew draped

with handmade quilts sewn during the year,

Bart’s directing choir,

an artist himself, jazz pianist,

Karen is on the near end

closest to where I sit. Next Sunday

they will ring for the congregation.

They’re practicing, O Come, O Come,


Emmanuel. God with us in the pew.

It’s my dad’s middle name, never

used by him, but he could sign the E

with a flourish. Karen plays four bells

at the same time—G, A, A flat, B flat.

They’re talking back and forth now.

Bart is laughing. My Notebook’s open, along

with Bonhoeffer’s, Cost of Discipleship.

I’m three weeks living with his work


on the Beatitudes. I’ll never finish.

Blessed are the merciful. [May I die,

right here, Lord?] For they shall receive

mercy. Jesus speaking to his disciples,

Bonhoeffer reminds us. They have

renounced their own dignity. Bonhoeffer's

27 years old writing this. The same age

as Jimi* and Janis when they died.

The year is 1933. Bonhoeffer will be


hanged in 1945, at the age of 39,

the same age as Flannery O’Connor,

Martin Luther King, Jr., and Malcolm.

It will be spring right before Allied

Liberation. The day will be the 9th

of April, sharing the same day

as my mother’s birthday. They’re

ringing again, the bells, Rejoice!

Rejoice! Bell ringers throwing


out the sounds with their arms.

The disciples have wed themselves

to the poor, the stranger, and the wronged.

They wear the clothes of shame

and dishonor. This is the beatitude,

great gift, given to me by my mother,

and I have passed it on to my children

who have wrapped others in mercy

for more than half a century. It’s


too much. I imagine my children

as bell ringers. Cowering before

their courage, I often find myself unable

to praise. I hear them most clearly

in Cannonball Adderley’s great

song, Mercy, released in 1964,

written by Joe Zawinul, Adderley’s

piano player—Austrian, by the way,

who often had to ride hidden


in the car driving in the South

during Jim Crow because everybody

but Ziwinul was black. Mercy, mercy, mercy,

how Adderley introduces the song. Often times

we’re not ready for adversity, he says,

Zawinul playing in the background.

Returning to hear the song on Youtube

over the years, is how I memorized

Adderley’s words, and his speaking


voice, repeating, Mercy, mercy, mercy.

Rhyme in adversity. Its marriage to trouble.

One time at Thanksgiving my sister drops

a bowl of olives, crying, Oh mercy me.

A granddaughter asks her why she said that.

She says, We laugh so we don’t have

to cry, Baby. Mercy. It’s the joke that hides

our treasure. The way Jesus says, Price paid.

The way Karen rings four bells.



*Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin both died in 1970.


Jim Bodeen

24-25 November 2024












A CHILE PEPPER FOR JOE SANDERS, AND ONE MORE FOR BOB

 

A CHILE PEPPER FOR JOE SANDERS


                --for Joe and Bob Sanders


0253 hours

16 November 2024


Karen looks at the clock

and says, I can’t sleep.


Joe Sanders is dead.

A family member gone.


He died in his sleep.

But. Yes. I know.


The perfect death. Our

emptiness, a part


of us. Karen remembers

the last time we saw him


on the 4th of July. Joe

loved those fire crackers


almost as much as Joe

loved buying them. Not


as much as his black pickup,

shoveling neighbors’ driveways


and his hot tub—and barbecue.

A consciousness filled with cariño


helps us choose awesome, Father

Boyle says. Joe poured black


pepper on salad, on pasta,

until it looked like gravel


on gravel road. Joe Sanders

loved his brother Bob’s fresh-


made rolls, and would come

to the house early. Joe played


baseball, and had a bad knee.

He collected stamps, Joe did,


and delivered the mail. Joe

was a sailor who could talk ports


and California beaches. A Catholic,

Joe would worship with the Lutherans


and leave before taking Communion.

Belonging is always the uncounted


score in Joe’s cribbage game,

and Joe loved cribbage. Somehow


we lost that question. That conversation

never had a chance to return. Joy


was matter-of-fact with Joe

as he picked up the Serrano Chile


from his plate. God in that Serrano

Chile was never in doubt.



Jim Bodeen

18 November 2024



LINES FOR BOB DURING THE DAYS

AFTER HIS BROTHER DIES


Bob, it’s through knowing Joe

I came to know you in your deepest story.


Knowing you through family is what I love most.


After your marriage to our daughter--


you two firecrackers coming back

from the fireworks stand in Moxee

on the 4th of July.


                Reading the second

                Beatitude today,

                Sorrow Bearer,

                Holding it, staying

                with it, carrying it,


Blessed are they who mourn

for they shall be comforted,


how I walk with you, Bob,


Being with the suffering,

being suffering,


                    A Jesus man


Into the surf-mix-wet-week

where we all of us,

salted and assaulted

in our weakness

become blessings



Love,

Dad

22 November 2024

AS I TURN THEN TO KAREN,

 

AS I TURN THEN TO KAREN,


                        to receive her into the day--


click of the light from bedroom

signaling her entrance. Rain

as coffee finishes, and fire

in the fireplace. Click of coffee

cup on counter, and the twist

of plastic container, as Karen

reaches inside for two

biscottis. The pouring of her

coffee, and, as she walks

to her chair, preparing to sit,

first her breath, followed

by the cushions, rustling fabric,

receiving her body. Her mouth

hollows itself, enlarging

into its own sound chamber,

between echo and whistle,

as she sips, and tastes, the coffee.

We’ve not yet said

Good morning to each other,

each of us acknowledging

what is a beatitude,

this sudden explosion of song,

this ancient blessingway.


Jim

20 November 2024

CANDLE-LIT KAREN

 

CANDLE-LIT KAREN


            --Living room, on our 56th Anniversary


Your quilts surround us

On walls, on chairs, body-wrapped

embers, color threads


Jim Bodeen

23 November 2024

A BEATITUDE FOR THURSDAY

 

A BEATITUDE FOR THURSDAY, 21 NOVEMBER 2024


            Blessed are those who hunger and thirst,

            for they shall be filled.

                        Matthew 5: 6


I don’t know a thing

about righteousness, who’s filled

I took that part out


You know about my walking--

about the hunger, the thirst--


Jim Bodeen

21 November 2024

HE SERVED SENTENCES

 

HE SERVED SENTENCES


Me, in my life, this--

drove my brother to airport

Came back, went to work


Your work, what is it you do?

Like Dude, you write in notebooks!


Jim Bodeen

14 November 2024

VETERAN'S DAY, 2024

 

VETERAN’S DAY, 2024


Walk the neighborhood, wave

hello to kids on bicycles, catch

a basketball from two boys

shooting hoops in the street.

The taller one mad at me

for months after I told his

Dad how he drove his go-cart

in the street. Walking

with hearing aids, listening

to a lectture about Bonhoeffer.

He was so young in 1933.

1934. 27 when he wrote

Cost of Discipleship--

Jimi’s age. Janis’ too.*

Taking notes on a church

bulletin stuck in my pocket.

Writing over Mark’s gospel:

Beware of scribes

who like to walk around

in robes. My people implode

after the election

six days ago. I didn’t even

know what day it was.

Ones come back

come back different.

Returning, Karen’s

curled up on couch

with a blanket. Immigrants

day and night

with other thoughts.


Jim Bodeen

11 November 2024


*Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin

WHEN ASKED ABOUT A DRAWING

 

WHEN ASKED ABOUT A DRAWING

OF MY BROTHER CUT OUT IN CLOTH


                              A poem for public school teachers


That teacher in 8th grade,

in the city school in Seattle--


                                               She said,


Take your wrist from the paper,

only the pencil touches, don’t


look at the paper, take your eyes

off it now. Look at what’s in front


of your eyes. Draw what you see,

don’t peek. When we were painting


trees, she showed me to make brush strokes

below what I thought were branches


telling me, Now, Brown paint.

Now you’re painting what you see.


This is color. You’ll need lots

of brown paint. She gave us large


envelopes big enough to slip

our paintings into. We carried


them under our arms and they went

all the way up to my arm pit, and


it had a string attached

to the large flap that wound


around the small cylinder

on the bottom securing our art.


When drawing portraits the first thing

she pointed out is where I drew the eyes.


Look at where you put them!

You put his eyes at the top of his head!


Look at the face! Eyes are in the middle.

And where does the nose go? Is


your wrist tired? Is that why it rests

on your drawing? I was most proud


of my forest, newly awakened

to the douglas fir. I was from the prairie,


country. My teacher, from the city, she

shows me how to paint what is visible


underneath green needles. She

showed me the mountains.


I returned again and again to the horse,

drawing the head from the side,


the eye its own universe, all-seeing,

and its single breathing nostril. That


brown envelope carried all of my work.

It was large, more cumbersome


than my trombone case

that was bigger than my body.


Nearly 80, now, I draw her face,

not knowing my teacher’s name.


Jim Bodeen

15 October-9 November 2024



GONE FAR ENOUGH

 

GONE FAR ENOUGH


               for G.


Mom used to say to me,

Jimmy, this time

you’ve gone too far,


and I’d say,

under my breath,

Maybe,


Maybe not.

One time

I thought I had


and found out

later

I hadn’t


Jim Bodeen

30 October 2024



0220 HOURS

 

0220 HOURS


            Opening Monday Morning


When I get up to pee,

        dark, dark, dark

when I get up to pee


Dark, dark, dark

        when I come back to bed


Dark, dark, dark

        in the notebook

when it opens



Jim Bodeen

29 October 2024